A new map of the world

In January D bought a house. It is a lovely 1920's home close to downtown. It is small and quirky. I helped him find the home. As we walked through a dozen homes, I tried to imagine a life with D. This was before we got engaged, but I knew I wanted to be with D long before he asked. As we would go room by room, looking at older homes with antique (shall we say) fixtures, dulled paint and memories I'll never know, I tried to picture quiet nights for D & I, meals with his kids, a place for his son to be... We looked at a lot of homes, but something about this home stuck.

He loved it immediately, it took me time to catch up. We walked through and talked about pulling old cabinets and creating a nook for me to work in, redoing the hardwood floors, repainting, making the home ours.

We've worked together in the home, worked to hang our pictures and build our own memories. We brought my stuff over before the wedding, when I moved to my parents' for a few weeks, and when I came in on our wedding night, I really was moving home.

I realize a home is more than a door and some windows and walls. Home is where you can rest, where you can release and where you can feel safe. I have that in our home.

It was a cool morning as we started on our hike. It was a place of deep meaning, the park where we first met, taking pictures, two photographers enjoying the day. We wandered the valley close to my parent’s house talking and laughing, enjoying the first nice weekend day of 2012.
We had a fun breakfast at a local favorite just before setting out. Now we were ready to capture the sun and be outside before the wind kicked up and we remembered it was February.
Over the river and through the woods we seemed to go, down this trail and up this one. We climbed to a crest where we could see the mountains to one side and the city to the other. While we walked I rambled about how very happy I am with this man beside me. How our talks about our future, a future that is simple and honest and intertwined, seems to be the best of us and that while I am macro, he is micro, while I like to work with groups, he prefers one on one. While I meet with a local group to help them feel more empowered, he would be working with one person on a woodworking project or stained glass or repairing a bike. And that future can come whether we are in Colorado, DC, Europe or living in an RV across the American plains.
Finally we saw a park bench and sat down. I take some shots of the view of Pike’s Peak and the mountains rising to reach it. He takes my camera and sets it beside him. I look at him as he says we can have what I’ve described, that we’ve overcome so much, first as friends, now as loves, making a life that includes his kids and my silly passions. It will be good, simple, us. Then before I realize what is happening he is down on his knee, he asks me to marry him, to start that life.
I cry. I cry for all that’s already happened and what will come. I cry for the love, support, compassion and strength I get from D. I cry for joy because at 28 I am facing the person I want to spend my life with.
I say yes. He unwraps the ring – the perfect ring for me – and slides it onto my finger. We celebrate that moment. He kisses me and we watch the mountains for a bit, at peace and overjoyed.
We take a different way back and end up by the riverbed which is ice covered. We take some photographs. Somehow while doing what we were doing in the beginning, at the place we met, taking photos and enjoying the day, I realize that life does bend in really unpredictable ways and while we never know what each day will bring, I am blessed and humbled by all that has come my way.

Back in February, D and I went to Denver to see one of my favorite performers - JJ Heller. I don't remember how I became acquainted with her, but her music has changed and shaped my life.

When I am at my wits end and burned out, I turn off the lights, take a pair of headphones, lie on the ground and just cry as her lyrics of honesty and faith wash over me in a form of worship. When I cannot say a word, JJ's words rise to heaven for me.

Her songs got me through DC and painful nights and Rwanda when all I wanted was some comfort. She is one of the few artists whose CDs I buy without hearing them.

I am not a concert person, but when I heard she was going to be in Denver I knew I had to go. D went with me, and it was a magical night. We sat in the back row (it was an intimate setting) and I just let the moment hit me. It was just her and her husband, Dave, singing the songs that have become associated with memories to me. She is as real, playful and personable in person as her songs portray.

She writes with raw honesty and brings words to other's pain and trials. Olivianna is the pleading of a mother for her daughter who passed away shortly after birth from a congenital diaphragmatic hernia. Control is written about someone's struggle with cutting and eventual surrender to God. Her songs of worship are real and heartfelt. And yet, in the midst of these are playful songs about boats and marriage and songs for her two daughters.

When D and I got married in June, I walked down the aisle to Tonight. On this second day, I am thankful for how JJ's songs are woven into my tapestry.

Below is one of my favorite songs by her - Painted Red:

Did you know that the 12 Days of Christmas actually symbolize the 12 days after Christmas? The dates go from December 25  to January 5th (which is Epiphany) and celebrates the arrival of the Magi to see Jesus.
This year I want to reflect back on 2012 and list something I am thankful for.

Today I am thankful for the family I married into. I got married in June and am now a step mom to three amazing kids. I use the term "kids" loosely as they are high school/college age. Still, I am blessed to have them in my life. My husband is amazing, and his kids are truly incredible. We get along well and have seemingly been able to slowly build a relationship. Their humor, laughter, joy and perspective on things bring so much to my life. I admit we do not see them as much as I would like, but that makes each dinner that much more special and opportunities to engage with them something to take seriously. They are different in temperament, hobbies, passions, etc. but already they have taught me a lot about myself, about how to love others and about the joys of being a parent.

On this first day of Christmas I am especially thankful for the three kids whose lives I now get to be a part of. 

Wedding plans are coming along. Already we have the major things decided - date, venue, an officiant, the dress, wedding party and their attire. It's fun. To be honest I don't get the stressed out bride thing. Just tackle one thing at a time. I've been reading A Practical Wedding and it's helped a lot. it's helped to put this day into perspective. This is not the wedding of the century, this is my fiancé and me committing forever to each other. It's about a promise, the joining of two lives and it is more important to me to build for that than to worry if people will care that we are not serving alcohol.

link So now comes the fun part - the details. We are trying to find a singer, figuring out centerpieces and bouquets, what to give away and the like. We had a very fun convo with our caterer last week. I'm excited for the food, which I have been told to designate someone to make sure I actually get to taste.

My good friend will be coming out to take the photos. Have Pupillo out here will make it more incredible.

Details are coming. With less than three months to go, I feel relatively calm and ready for what is coming. I only wish it was tomorrow and not so far away.

On Monday I posted Noble's list of how a husband should consider their wife. On Wednesday, he posted how a wife should consider their husband.


Here a few of the highlights:

#1 – As a wife you should never, I MEAN EVER, underestimate the power of your words in regards to how you speak to your husband.  You should be his PRIMARY source of encouragement.  The words you speak to him and about him in front of others carry more weight than you could EVER imagine!  (I wrote about that specifically in this post entitled, “What A Wife Should NEVER Do,” I would strongly encourage every woman to read it!) #2 – A woman who attempts to manipulate/control her husband through emotional outbursts, crying and temper tantrums is NOT focused on what is best for the marriage but rather obsessed with getting her way…which always leads to division in the marriage relationship.  (See Proverbs 12:4, Proverbs 19:13, Proverbs 21:9, Proverbs 21:19, Proverbs 25:24, Proverbs 27:15!) (AND…btw…a woman who is emotionally out of control is always out of control in another area of her life…it just usually becomes obvious in her emotions!)

#3 – Your husband should NEVER be the object of your worship…you will crush him under that weight!  He is a man…he is going to do something dumb, he’s going to say something insensitive and he’s not going to fulfill your every need/desire.  Your primary focus should be on the LORD…and as you grow in your love for HIM you should constantly beg HIM to allow you to see your husband through HIS EYES!!!  (I promise you this will significantly impact your marriage!)

#5 – Your husband cannot read your mind.  He cannot understand how you feel.  This isn’t a game…it’s marriage.  If something is wrong then select the right moment, speak the truth in love and do not attack him when you share what is on your heart.  The goal isn’t to win an argument but solve the problem.
#6 – How you speak about him in front of your children either sets him up for success or failure as a father.  If you constantly tear him down to your kids then they will see him as you see him, have no respect for him and in the future when you need him to help out with explanation or discipline your children will not listen to him because of the foundation of disrespect that you put down.
While the list to men seems to focus on care and respect, this list focuses on priority and emotional stability. You have to tell your husband how you feel, you should never use emotions to manipulate your man. I love the line about a woman being emotionally in-control, because I have seen the consequence of the other way around too many times. Your husband does not (and should not!) complete you; he should complement you, not fulfill you. Too often the imbalance comes in relationships because of this. We put our husband up as a god and place unrealistic expectations on him.

Again it's the Disney idea that someone my prince will come and then I won't be this raggedy girl anymore. Um, sorry sister, if you are not enough on your own you will NEVER be enough with him. We are all human, but when we make someone else's view of us more important than God's we set that person up to disappoint and injure us in ways that are not healthy or fair.


What is missing from this list? What other ways should men and women consider their spouse?

Perry Noble recently wrote this post about how men should consider their wives. It got me thinking how we prepare men to be husbands (or if we really do!). Too often we focus on creating a woman of God or preparing a girl for marriage that we don't stop to look at the male side of the equation. While girls are over saturated with the Disney idea of love, men are confronted with images of being "masculine," aloof and distant, annoyed and closed off to the woman they love (or more often are "stuck with"). Think about most TV shows and movies out today. It's more important to be "cool" around the boys then to treat your wife with any kind of respect. He is frustrated at her "nagging" while she is desperate to be seen and given anything other than an annoyed grunt. And the message within the church is no better.

In our quest to redefine everything, we've lost the gentleman.When did "respecting" women become about being a jerk to them? While women have struggled to gain our independence we've love something vital in requiring that we be treated with respect. We've left behind the one who would care for and love us for the one who debases and abuses us. This is what we've fought 40 years for? Really?

I love Noble's list but choose to highlight only five:
#1 – Before she was your wife she was God’s daughter…and He is VERY concerned about how someone treats His girl!
#4 – One of the biggest questions that a woman is always asking of her husband is, “can I trust you with my heart?”  And the answer to this question is not simply declared but rather demonstrated over time.#5 – Every word you speak has meaning to your wife…and HOW you say those words carry even more meaning.
#6 – No woman responds well to condemnation…and if we are supposed to love our wives like Christ loves the church, and there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1) then we MUST watch our words carefully.
#10 – Pursuit must be intentional!  You did not accidentally fall in love…and you will not accidentally stay in love!
And it's not a one way street. Someone I know recently went to marriage counseling. The session was filled with ways for him to connect into her world, but what about her? Men are not the only one who need to pursue in a relationship, men need to be pursued too!

Noble needs a list of what a wife should consider about her husband, things like thankfulness for provision and edification and encouragement. It's not easy, it's complicated and messy, but anything worth having in this world is not easy. You will not stay in love without work and maybe at it's core it's not taking anything for granted. Stop assuming your spouse will always be there and start working to make sure you have the kind of marriage you want. The opinion of your friends is one thing, but you made a commitment to your spouse before God and that should take importance over everything else.

Some exciting changes in my life for sure. Move over home renovation! It's time to plan a wedding!!!!!

I found this saved in my files from 2007. I thought it was worth the share...

Me... 
 
Childhood Ambition: To save the world

Fondest Memory : Playing with my nieces
Soundtrack: Something made in the 40's with some Norah Jones, Frankie, and Dianne Reeves mixed in.
Retreat: A day alone in my apt.
Wildest Dream : To write and live in Africa
Proudest Moment : Walking at graduation
Biggest Challenge : Finishing French
Alarm Clock : My roommate leaving for work
Perfect Day : Fall, leaves still on the trees, a warm breeze, the sun on my face.
First Job : Waitress at JVL
Indulgence : Books. Magazines. Paper Products.
Last Purchase : Norah Jones new CD, Washingtonian Magazine, A Man Without A Country by Kurt Vonnegut.
Favorite Movie : Disney's Robin Hood
Inspiration : My Compassion Kids

My Life: ­­­­­­is just beginning


And what would I say today, five years later?

Childhood Ambition : To save the world
Fondest Memory : Building a life with the man I love
Soundtrack: Something sassy - Ella, Norah and a bit of country mixed in. Something you could sing and dance to
Retreat: A day in with my laptop, a creative idea and some coffee
Wildest Dream : To have a novel on the NYTimes best seller list
Proudest Moment: Having accomplished my wildest dream from 2007
Biggest Challenge : Getting LTHF off the ground
Alarm Clock : On my iPhone
Perfect Day : Getting out of town and taking photographs with my love
First Job : Waitress at JVL
Indulgence : Books. Magazines. Paper Products. (some things don't change!)
Last Purchase : Sara Bareilles - Kaleidoscope Heart & lunch at Smiley's
Favorite Movie : Disney's Robin Hood
Inspiration : Those who've walked the road before me. 

from Black*Eiffel I am in LOVE with this soup. I haven't even finished the leftovers and I want to make more.

It really is THAT good.

Black*Eiffel is the genius behind it. I was intrigued when I read that it included Truvia. When had it last week and were a bit apprehensive about making something where an ingredient has to roast for an hour, especially because it was later when we got home, but it was so worth it.

Another note, purchase fresh thyme and basil. Some recipes you can skimp and use dried. Not here.
An additional perk - the smell of roasted garlic, oh it was so good and made our mouth water before we even had the chance to take a bite.

Here is the recipe  Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Candara","sans-serif";} 1 ½ lbs Roma Tomatoes – cut in half 5 T extra virgin olive oil 1 medium onion – diced 4 garlic cloves –minced 1 T fresh thyme – finely chopped 28 oz diced tomatoes 2 tea dried basis 3 tea (4 packets) Truvia 2 cups chicken broth 1 cup fresh basil – chopped 2 oz cream cheese at room temperature Salt & ground pepper as needed
Preheat oven to 375. Place cut tomatoes and garlic on a baking sheet. Drizzle with 3 T of oil. Season with salt and pepper. Roast for 1 hour.
When the tomatoes are almost done, heat remaining oil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add the onion, season with salt and pepper and sauté for 5 minutes (until the onion is translucent). Add the diced tomatoes, thyme, dried basil and Truvia. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer for 1o minutes, stirring occasionally.
Pour the chicken broth, roasted tomatoes and garlic into the pot. Bring to a boil then reduce to medium-low, simmer, covered for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add fresh basil and simmer another 10 minutes.
Carefully pour the soup into a blender. Add half of the cream cheese with each batch (it should take you two). Blend until smooth. Pour back into the pot. Add salt and pepper to taste. Simmer for 5 minutes then serve.
We served it with sour cream on top and it was to die for. If you make this let me know what you use to spice it up! I am intrigued. This is definitely going on the regular rotation and was worth every moment it took to prep and wait for it.


Do you have any soups you cannot live through the winter without?

Some exciting news -- over the weekend D closed on a house! We've been looking since early summer and finally found one we both really loved. It is exciting. We went over and popped the champagne we've been holding onto since New Years. His kids came over and we ate pizza on the floor. 

It was built in the 1920's. It is still downtown which D and I wanted. It is close to work, to the shops and restaurants we love, on a very quiet street. It has two stories, three bedrooms, and one bathrooms. The garage outside will give D the space for his wood shop and I've already claimed a space in the basement for my creative nook!

Now comes the task of making it ours! Someone was there bright and early Saturday to take off the dingy old stain on the hardwood and put down a fresh new coat. We went with a natural stain that really shows off the wood and lightens up the rooms.  

Beyond that we will be repainting, pulling out some old cabinets, redoing a downstairs office area. There is a very old, somewhat unstable, "modified" garage in the backyard we are debating what to do with. At some point we might tear it down and start again.

In the backyard is room for a garden. There might even be enough space on the front porch for a swing! I will keep you updated on the renovation. More "before" photos coming soon!

I've been on the cash system for a while. It is preferable for me because seeing the dollars leave my wallet and knowing that is all the money I have until payday makes me really conscious about what I buy.
in use
It's been harder to do since I moved back to CO. I will admit being able to use cash for all my expenses (minus bills) was easier. So it's an adjustment, but I still have no new credit card debt and am able to live comfortably and grow my savings.

Kelleigh Ratzlaff Designs had a template for a cash envelope insert. She even provides a free download for the envelope template, allowing you to use whatever paper you want to.

To get started with the envelopes, here is what I did: 

1. Start with the amount you take home each paycheck.
2. Divide your bills into what paycheck they come out of. 
3. Deduct those bills from your starting amount (#1).
4. Figure how much you need for gas, food and any fun money you want. The "fun amount" needs to be realistic, but it also needs to allow you to save and get out of debt (or whatever your financial goal is). Ask: what can you do each money that doesn't cost money? Where do you excessively spend money that you can cut back? For me, that was eating out. Cooking at home is cheaper, healthier and has become somewhat of a social thing for me.
5. Take that amount (#4) away from your remaining funds.
6. The rest goes into savings. 

I move the savings amount immediately after I get paid. I have also started leaving a "cushion" of fun money in my checking account for internet purchases, where I need a credit card number. But I do not transfer funds to my checking unless it is to pay bills. So if (hypothetically) I have $60 a week for food/fun and I use that all up by Tuesday, then it is going to be a sparse week until the next paycheck.

I would also recommend looking into balance transfers with a period of no interest. I did this with my car repair bills and am paying it down slowly over the course of the interest free period. I know Mr. Ramsey often says to start paying off your smallest debt and move up. For me, it was more cost effective to leave the smaller debt (with no interest) and pay off the bigger debt first (evil student loans!).

By doing the cash system completely - with envelopes for groceries, gas, eating out, clothes, gifts, etc. - and leaving your card at home it really does cut down on the urge to cheat. I didn't used to have a card with me, so if I didn't have cash it did not get purchased. For people who have trouble spending this really helps.

via The other thing I like to do is to list where my money goes. If I didn't keep track I would get to the end of the month and be able to identify about a third of what I spent money on. I would recommend keeping receipts and creating a log book (that's what I do). Over time I realized I was still spending a lot on eating out and asked a friend to teach me how to cook so I could stay in and save more. I started entertaining in my home, which is cheaper all around, quieter and more intimate.

In the end I think it's good to do things to motivate/reward yourself. I added an envelope for big purchases (like a new camera or a vacation or even just a book fund) and when those funds reach a certain point go spend. Having to save up and wait for big ticket items really makes me evaluate if I truly want it and if it was really worth it after that much time and energy to save up for it.

We live in an instant gratification society and with the cash envelope, save up system it forces us to be patient and helps us realize that maybe we really didn't need it anyway. If you have any questions let me know, I'd love to share what I've learned over the last four years of doing this.





What budgeting tips have you found that really work for you?

Today is my love's birthday. I took him to breakfast at Chick-fil-A before work.

I am tremendously blessed by this man. Everyday I discover more reasons to love and respect him.

I am grateful for D. Grateful for the ways he makes my life richer, better. I love the future I see before us, for where we want to go.

Before D I am exposed, open, vulnerable, real, accepted, seen, encouraged, loved. And he is the same before me. It is humbling to be completely real before another person, and when that gift is reciprocated it is the greatest freedom in the world.

I have fallen in love with my best friend. And with him I know the best in yet to come.


Happy Birthday my love!

Parade Magazine ran an article about gratitude last weekend. It was a good reminder as the new year starts to focus on the positive, to be thankful for what is around you. The author of the piece noted that the process of writing thank you notes changed their perception and actually the gesture of gratitude came back to him.

It is too easy to get caught up in the negative, in what is going wrong, in what we don't have. But what if we chose to look the other way - to what we can have?

Here are their four simple steps for expressing gratitude:


GRAB A PEN AND PAPER. 
Refrain from sending an email. Handwritten notes feel special, almost like the person is there with you. I use plain off-white cards that have my name printed on the front and my name and address on the envelope.

BE SPECIFIC.
Perhaps start by thanking the people who just gave you holiday presents. Open with “Dear So-and-So,” identify the gift (“the red and white tie”), and say one sincere thing about why you like it (“It’s a perfect match for my blue suit”).

DIG INTO THE PAST.
After thanking your close friends and family, write to people who helped you at critical moments. I reached out to the doctor whose operation cured my pain, and to another doctor who told me I needed to stop drinking.

KEEP IT SHORT.
Your message doesn’t need to be long and eloquent—my cards are small, with room for only three or four sentences. By sticking to a few lines, you keep the focus on your thank-you and on the other person’s kindness. 

(Parade Magazine)
Whatever the reason stop and notice what there is to be thankful for and write it down.

THXTHXTHX is a thank you note a day about whatever the author encounters. Some times it is directed to a person, other times it's for an event. It's entertaining if nothing else. 

Here is one of my favs from THXTHXTHX.



Gratitude - let me know how it goes.

For New Years my love and I wanted to make something special. D loves salmon, but we don't get it very often. We found a tasty marinade online and set it to soak.

Then D started to feel icky, so we let the fish sit overnight, cooking it the next night when my dear friend P was here. It was a-m-a-z-i-n-g! From now on we are going to let our fish marinade overnight. It really brought out the garlic and basil. 

We served it with mixed veggies and rolls, paired with some chardonnay. A very tasty New Years treat. 
Taken from All Recipes:
Ingredients

• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 6 tablespoons light olive oil
• 1 teaspoon dried basil
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon fresh parsley, chopped
• 2 (6 ounce) fillets salmon

Directions

1. In a medium glass bowl, prepare marinade by mixing garlic, light olive oil, basil, salt, pepper, lemon juice and parsley. Place salmon fillets in a medium glass baking dish, and cover with the marinade. Marinate in the refrigerator about 1 hour, turning occasionally.
2. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
3. Place fillets in aluminum foil, cover with marinade, and seal. Place sealed salmon in the glass dish, and bake 35 to 45 minutes, until easily flaked with a fork.

Looking back over the last few years it is hard to connect where I was to where I am. I have written off my 26th year all together, there is not much there that is good or worth remembering. 2011 started off incredibly difficult but, by the end, was overflowing with blessings and joy. As the year went on it was as if I shed the things that were hindering me, the anchors around my feet that kept me tethered in fear, and found a place to be still, rest and flourish.


Looking towards 2012 I want this rejuvenation and growth to continue. For the first time in a long time I feel unencumbered and free - it's incredible.

With what is behind and what is to come in mind I jotted down what I hope to get out of this year:

- Be thankful: tell others what they have done in my life.
- Focus on the little things: little joys, victories, moments of quiet, discoveries.
- Focus more: stop multitasking, stop procrastinating, & kick fear to the curb!
- Be consistent: with friends, goals, relationships and love.
- Creativity: do it, learn it, pursue it, embrace it.

Here's to love, to growing more with my best friend, to merging life with my confidant, fellow adventurer, love - my DD.

Here's to increased family, to the kids, new adventures, new friendships to be formed, memories to be made.

Here's to leaving the past behind - letting go of old hurts, embracing current joys, realizing that each painful situation leads to growth and opportunity.

Here's to honesty, with myself and others, in who I am, in how I feel, in how life can be better lived between us.

Here is 2012 - and all that it holds.

Remember today



Remember those who gave their lives. Remember those who sacrificed. Remember the more than 2,000 American soldiers lost their lives in an attack that took only two hours.

As the Greatest Generation slowly passes on we lose the perspective they hold. The war that changed so much, for which nothing was the same, that affected generations and still lingers... The war that we have lost the impact from, a war that perhaps defines sacrifice and unity and perseverance... It comes back to an action - a surprise assault on a Sunday morning that changed everything.

I don't know how to process. I think it should be deliberated and thought over. But take time today to remember those who died, those who served, those who were called and all that came after this attack. And as the Greatest Generation fades from us, let the lessons they helped mark on our memories never be left behind.

My friend Abby runs Love Roots Photography. She is amazing photographer, fantastic at capturing those special moments and getting people's personalities to come out in a print.


In the month of December she is donating 10% per session to Restore Innocence. 

If you live in The Springs area and need photos - contact Abby and help girls coming out of trafficking at the same time!

1) Committed. A follow-up to Eat, Pray, Love. but this time Gilbert is in love. After her fiance is denied entry into the U.S. they are forced to spend time in SE Asia while his status gets sorted out. With marriage an option looming before them, Gilbert is forced to re-examine her views of marriage, and till death do them part. She looks at the cultures they are in, examining the history, idea, mentality of marriage and tries to come to a conclusion. There is a very intriguing look at marriage in the United States (and western Europe) and how it went from a legal to a religious and back again institution.

A very lovely read.  It is a very excellent follow-up to Eat, Pray, Love that loses none of the charm of the original. Gilbert has a way of looking at things that is unique and charming. I feel like I am talking to a good friend wrestling with her thoughts on marriage and life.

2)  The Wild Things. Eggers takes on the classic childhood story (one of my favorites!) of Max and his adventure with The Wild Things. Deepening character development and bringing us closer to the monsters he interacts with, Eggers retains the childlike quality of the original story. I read it basically in one night, an easy read, a good book when you don't want to have to focus.

3) No Pity is a view inside the Independent Living movement. I am reading it for work, trying to learn more about people with disabilities and their struggle for equal rights. It is a helpful read for anyone who does not know that much about the Disability Rights Movement or has very little interaction with people with disabilities. It has shown me a lot, and has made me examine the misnomers, questions and fears I hold.

People with disabilities are a minority group in this country, one that anyone can join at any time. It is one that many people will as they age, and so we need to learn what we can and come to see that having a disability should not be met with pity or be turned into a heroes cause, but realize they are people who don't see their disabilities as something to make them stand out, but that they see as something that is part of who they are. They can live, work and play in our communities - as equals, asking nothing but the chance to be seen as equal and able.


What are you currently reading? Anything you'd like to recommend?

Today is Veterans Day. There are many of us who don't think twice about the freedoms we take for granted. Many will wave a flag, stand during the 7th inning stretch and never understand (or care) why.

I remember last year D and I just happened to be downtown for the Veterans Day parade. We wandered down the street watching cars go by, floats, and the occasional CAP outfit. I had never really thought about this day, it was for wars fought long ago, a Great War already forgotten. But was is it today?

This town has one of the biggest military concentrations in the U.S., until I came back from DC I didn't realize that. I also didn't really know anyone minus a few guys from college, and a few retired Army men, who was in the military. We were not a military family.

Now things are different. A dear friend's husband is in Afghanistan, someone close to me was in Iraq for a year, I have listened to wives of service men share what their lives are like. I am dating a vet.

I have also lived in a country where freedom was not guaranteed. There is a lot you cannot say or do in Rwanda. Freedom of speech, to protest, to debate, to assemble, to live without fear did not exist. The police ruled and people just simply disappeared. You could not criticize the president - nuh uh!


Our freedom is not guaranteed. The freedom we have to say what we want, to criticize our government, to call for change, to write what we can - came at a price, and it is not guaranteed. Maybe if that reality set in we would be more supportive of those who fight daily (in the US and abroad) to keep those freedoms in place.

Support Our Troops - what does that mean?
There is a commercial that plays in my head - a member of the military walks through the airport, unnoticed, just another person. The someone starts to applaud them. They stand and actively thank the person for their service. Then another. And another. Soon applause has filled the terminal and, for a moment, the military member is recognized.

People who choose to serve don't do it for the attention, they do it for a calling. And they don't serve alone. Their families, friends and communities should serve with them. The military wife is one of the hardest roles in our country. Being with D has allowed me to see the immense pride and responsibility many in our military hold to their positions. To them, the ceremony that many of us just do holds great importance.

I think it's time that we started looking at the people in the military and stopped seeing them as a mass - they are individual people, not to be used for political gain or to be discriminated against. There is respect to be held in their position. Just as we should uphold police, firemen, teachers, etc. to a higher calling, so should we thank our service men and women for making our daily life possible.

Thank you D for what you did for our country. Thank you for serving, for being a servant, for showing me what being a member of the military truly means. I am indebted to you.